Here we are…. A couple of weeks in, and are we surviving the 6 weeks summer holidays!?
How is everyone doing?
Hard isn’t it??
I mean the main bonus is that we get a break from the school run for 6 weeks!!! Because that is a daily joy isn’t it??
‘Get dressed! Clean your teeth! Get dressed! You can take your pj’s off on your own! Please get dressed we are going to be late! I’m not pulling your hair, I’m brushing it! Put your shoes on! Get your coats! Put your shoes on! PUT YOUR SHOES ON!!! Where are your book bags???? GET IN THE CAR!!!!’
The expected joy of the summer holidays vs reality
So along comes the 6 weeks holidays which we all dream of spending with our little cherubs, thinking of all if the wonderful things we will do, days out we will have, the smiles, the laughter etc etc
But what happens when we have to work? Or the house needs cleaning? Or the shopping needs to be done? Or we are just plain exhausted???
The Guilt
Guilt happens for one….
Beating yourself up because the children are not dressed and participating in enriching and educational activities everyday. In fact most days it’s a struggle to prize them away from their tablets or games consoles long enough to accompany you round the block for a short dog walk!
Then you look at social media and EVERYONE else is walking up mountains, visiting museums, learning to paddleboard!!
I also have guilt writing this as we have decided to put our 2 into Cricket Club today so that I could get some work done. My husband said that our daughter was absolutely distraught when he left!
So there you go…. Guilt when they do nothing! Guilt when they do enriching, educational activities too!
The Overwhelm
And secondly there comes the overwhelm…
Trying to keep so many plates spinning in the air at once and feeling like you are not quite achieving anything? Sound familiar?
All of these things start to fill up your stress bucket in your head. And do you know what happens when that stress bucket gets too full and starts to overflow….?? We lose the ability to cope with situations like we usually do.
We move to spending the majority of our time in the part of our brains that is there to keep us safe. This part of the brain is constantly looking out for danger and therefore must see things in a negative light, to keep us safe!
Negative Thought Patterns
So negative thoughts start to creep in…
‘I’m not good enough’
‘My children are going to be seriously affected by too much screen time’
‘They are being too sedentary and will become obese!’
‘I am not performing at work!’
‘The house is such a mess and will never be tidy again!!’
‘I am snapping at everyone’
‘I am a terrible parent!’
Etc.….. etc.….. etc.….
And guess what…. The more we have in our stress bucket, the more we have those negative thoughts and this then piles more into our stress bucket and we get caught in a vicious cycle which leads to feeling overwhelmed, anxious, angry, depressed, or a combination of all of them.
So, What Can We Do When We’re Feeling Stressed and Overwhelmed?
Well the most important thing to do is to empty out that stress bucket.
How do we do that you ask?? Well here are a few tips for you….
Sleep!
This is so important.
When we sleep we go through various cycles and one of them is know as REM sleep. During REM sleep our brains run through the events of the day and turn them from being an emotional memory into and intellectual one, and one that we have control over.
Have you ever had a bad day and your partner, parent, best friend has told you to sleep on it? And you do, and when you wake up the next day you feel a little bit better??
Well that is REM sleep doing its job! So the old wives tale of ‘sleep on it first’ definitely works! REM Sleep is our brain’s natural way of emptying our stress bucket.
However…. Sometimes we have so much in our stress bucket that our brains try to do too much REM and this takes up too much energy. When this happens, your brain will ping you awake, and it is very difficult to get back to sleep, and you might lie there for hours with your brain whirring!
If you are really struggling to sleep you can access some free hypnotherapy relaxation in my Facebook Group!
So we need to find other ways to keep your stress bucket from getting so full that REM has too much work to!
Make a to do list!
Write down all of the things that you have got swimming around in your head. Get them out of your stress bucket and onto paper, or in a note on your phone. This way you can see clearly what needs to be done when. And… this is the good bit… you can tick them off!!!!
Ticking off things on a list gives you a hit of dopamine which is the reward chemical in the brain, so it makes you feel good!
Focus on the 3 P’s
What are the 3 P’s you ask?
Positive Actions
Positive Interactions
Positive Thinking
Remember that I said that negative thinking fills up your stress bucket? Well trying to focus on getting the 3 P’s into your day can really help to change those negative thought patterns, therefore reducing the amount of stress in the bucket.
What is even better is if you can really think about the 3 P’s and recognise when you have them. One way of doing this is by making a note of them at the end of the day.
Try to keep moving!
Exercise is a great way to boost your mood and to empty your stress bucket. When we exercise we give our brains a chance to switch off from our busy lives and therefore the space to work through issues and find solutions. Not to mention the wonderful endorphins that are released when we exercise.
You can read more about this in my blog Reasons to Run
So try to move more. Even if its just going for a walk around the block, dragging the children behind you!
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Notice what is important to do now, and what can wait.
So what if the house is an absolute tip! The only person judging you is you. I can guarantee that the majority of houses look the same, but no one ever shares that on Social Media do they?
And give yourself a break… The children are quite happy in there PJ’s watching Netflix! They are loved, they are fed, they are content.
Perfection is unattainable.
You are doing a great job.
Fill Up Your Own Cup 1st
You cannot pour from an empty cup. If you are running on empty emotionally you cannot possibly look after everyone else. So do what works for you that makes you happy. Go to the gym, read a book, do some knitting, do some gardening, go for a coffee with a friend.
Whatever works for you, do more of it!
Try Some Hypnotherapy
I get reciprocal Solution Focused Hypnotherapy when I am feeling overwhelmed.
This is when I see a colleague for hypnotherapy sessions and then they will have sessions with me in return.
It helps me to find the solutions that are the best for me. Then we use trance which mimics REM, so it empties out the stress bucket and helps us to find even more solutions, which we already have in our brains
So if you are really struggling an feeling overwhelmed Solution Focused Hypnotherapy can help.
You can contact me for a free initial 20 min telephone conversation to discuss how we can help you!